it has long been my habit to give a rating to each public restroom which i visit... these ratings are in the "A," "C-," "F," etc. format... the Daily Grind, a newly discovered (to me) coffeeshop in Portsmouth, VA, a delightful "come in and unwind" sort of shop, with sweetly flavoured drinks, hand churned sorbets, exposed brick walls, plenty of victorian looking seating, free internet, modern lighting effects, and hardwood floors- became even more enchanting when i discovered the B+ rated restroom.....

the toilet paper is happy. 

i don't know how else to explain it.  when so many restrooms have resorted to economy on the "little things", the Daily Grind spends the extra penny to furnish its visitors with a little something extra, just to say "we care"... indeed, a B+ rating is high on my usual scale.... but this one had all the right components: a private room with good lighting- the kind that says "stay as long as you wish", french portraits on the walls, antique trinkets strewn about the room, --- and happy toilet paper... complete with embossed flowers and ivy..... 

i smiled. 

Sipping "Fair Trade Rwandan" coffee at the Nomad bookstore/ coffeehouse ...Jackson, MI's latest addition of which to be proud... Free Internet, cheap drinks, high ceilings, struggling new artists, old wooden columns scattered to divide the deep room, which takes on a somewhat lilting appearance, by illusion or old age's reality.... 

I'm not fresh enough from my last semester of law school exams to still be in that "lay on the floor and stare heavenward, taking deep breaths and pondering 'did that just happen' as well as 'I've never been happier- not in my whole life'..."  But, I am still in a detox mode of some sort... We just got our grades this week... I'm still in the game, it seems....

I really love law school..... I love everything about it.... Simple words, but I really think there is something to relish here... I'll not get another chance, not in my lifetime where I can challenge myself in this particular way intellectually.... I find myself disliking myself whilst I am under the strain at times... I've not always been impressed at how I handle stress- or how very self-absorbed I become...

I'm still attempting to work some things out in my mind.... Questions that will perhaps never be answered to my satisfaction on this side of death.... But, I have no choice but to continue to pursue the answers.... Some of the most pressing questions on my heart are these:  What level of comfort does God approve for my life?  Are luxery items, bought with money which could have been sent to missionaries giving souls perhaps a one-time chance to learn of the Saviour and begin a relationship with the Creator of the Universe-- can those luxery items be justified?  Can they?  What does God think about the debt required to go to law school?  What about the time that is required to make it through law school, preventing me (seemingly) from as much opportunity for personal evangelism? 

Carrie Underwood's song, "Jesus, Take the Wheel" is one that I appreciate, despite it's following with Country Music's tendancy to pull up the cheesy lyrics.... (you know the kind-- where the chorus can be applied differently after each verse, with pretensions to witty design)... Regardless, I like the theme-- utter surrender.... which is what I have every intention to do... and it is the constant theme of my prayers.... But, how do I interpret that into my every day decisions, and not-so-every-day decisions?  Is it just how I feel?  I reject that notion.... Having "peace" with decisions is my biggest indicator, along with the clear principles I read in the Bible... But, I'm afraid that sometime my sense of "peace" might be affected by factors that don't necessarily lead to truth, such as past education, background, American mindset, selfish desires, tainted worldviews, etc....

The doctor at my church back home in Michigan teaches Sunday School... and he was giving a lesson from Acts this past Sunday... came across a passage where the disciples cast lots to appoint a replacement disciple for Judas.... but Dr. Clark went on to point out that "testing God" has only been appropriate where God made it clear to do so.... that we ought NOT try the same thing.... "casting" proverbial "lots" to demand God's will in our decisions...  Ok.  But I really, really want to.... I want a "sign"...  yes.  weak faith... me and my affinity for the tangible world....

Anyway, I just got my first pedicure EVER earlier today (part of detox process, you see)....  Last night, I made an oral "oopsie"... I was telling my brother Joe that I was going to get one, but was trying to express my pity for the lady who was going to do it-- because I'm currently sporting "summer feet".... I can't resist running around barefoot, even outside, so my feet were less than appetizing.... But I mixed my words, and as I lifted my foot to him, I said, "I feel badly, cuz I'm doing a pedafile tomorrow...."    There was simply no recovery at that point. 

Tomorrow, I get the priviledge of meeting up with my special guy (a rare and much savoured opportunity)...  He's starting a new phase of life now, just completing his education (lots and lots)... bought his first house, and he's been making incredible improvements to it... so I look forward to seeing what he has done... New stages in life are so exciting... it means you can start with a clean slate, having not yet created bad habits, and choosing pieces of life to knit together in an "a' la carte" fashion....

My upcoming book isn't geared towards graduating med students, but rather college graduates, or anyone starting the first "on your own" phase of life, around the age of 22.... I hope to work on it a good deal this summer.... By God's orchestration, I have an internship in Colorado Springs where I'll be learning so much, helping probably very little, but going in with wide eyes, looking for clues to the next chain link of my life.... But what better location to spend my off-hours than the Rockies... almost disproportionately perfect for reflection and perspective....  My dear roommate from college, Mandy, has family there that are allowing me to stay with them for the duration of my internship, another little blessing from God....

My dear, sweet friend from China, Janna, is going to be making her way to Michigan in August, when I return for my sister's wedding (yeah!).... My sister has ideas of putting Janna to work as the MC at the rehearsal dinner.... for which she would be perfect.... Janna has this unique charisma that fits so well in such circumstances a public coordination and entertainment.... This skill cannot be learned (I have tried), but it a rare talent to put everyone at ease (I don't even try) and makes you want to laugh, just for the sake of laughing..... *Sigh* How I miss Janna...

Well, I think I've rambled enough, though I do not apologize to anyone in particular (no one forced you to read this)... there is just so much to be done in the way of relaxation.... perhaps i'll go pick daisies or peruse Thomas Friedman's latest works....

Parting thought.... Proverbs 30:7-9.... "2 things have I required of thee; deny me them not before I die:  Remove far from me vanity and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me:  Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say 'Who is the Lord?' or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain."

~Michelle / Shellie / Belle~

Hey...I make no pretensions to "maintain" this blog site, as most would expect such to mean....Just because most people would define a "blogger" as one who "blogs regularly", I defy any of my readers to nail down a definition for the word "regularly".  If I see my extended relations every Christmas, I would classify that as a "regular occurance".... If I blog mid-November, then submerge my cyber-showmanship till it once again occurs to me in the last day of January, then I would submit that I, in fact, blog VERY regularly.  And, after all, absense makes the heart grow fonder...

I'm not sure if it ought to concern me that the most frequented question I receive from my loved ones strewn about the country is whether I'm "still in school" or not.  The best plan is probably to assume their mere interest, and, in absense of information of what else might be going on in my life, fall back to the one thing of which they are certain:  Michelle ripped up her life and moved far away- for school.  "Are you still in law school?" should likely be interpretted similarly to "How's it going?" or "How about them Wolverines?", etc...  (rather than, "Wow, haven't you failed all your classes yet?" or "Isn't it about time they sent you home with a detention slip for your over-zealous opinions yet?"  Incidentally, for those of you who have known me in my high school years, I've been very proud of myself thus far in choosing battles and biding my time in attempts to filter my natural urge to debate down to a level that purports the appearance of sophicated civility... more updates to come...)

So, yes.  I'm "still in school"- rather loving it, actually. 

On the other hand, now that I have one semester under my belt, and a tinsy bit better idea of what the workload demands, I'm investigating adding a few elements to my life.  First of all, after I moved to Norfolk (oh, by the way, I moved to Norfolk), I found a church within 5 minutes of my house that I really like.  Having only been there 3 Sundays now, I am exploring some of the groups and extra meetings during the week.  I really desire a close group of encouragers outside the law school.  (I thank the Lord for Godly law students/professors- but sometime you just need to get away.)

Relatedly, I really appreciate the apparent community/global outreach of this church, and recently became aware (during Sanctity of Life week) of some connections with the crisis pregnancy centers in the area.  Now, I've never done work in those  agencies before, but I may discover this to be a productive ministry area for me.  (who knows).  The economic concept of "optimality" is important to me, namely optimizing one's time and efforts (some of our most precious resources).  Christians have all been gifted so differently that I struggle to believe that we ought to force ourselves into ministries where the (actual) productivity is slight (recognizing, of course, that "apparent" productivity can be misleading).  Whereas, our talents should be put to use in a manner that puts God and our fellow humans above our own desires.  By virtue of the fact that they are TALENTS, they will produce an excellent harvest, and we will be able to rejoice in the fruit of our labour.  (I love that Xanga has no squiggly red lines as you type...leaving me the freedom to compose with English spellings on words such as "labour"... *happy sigh*, crude levels of technology aren't always bad...)

The other interesting thing about which I've been thinking, is travel.  Where to travel?  (And more pragmatically speaking), where to DREAM of traveling?  In a conversation with a friend recently, it once again surfaced in my mind that I have never been to South America, and have actually always wanted to "do" the Amazon Basin of Brazil.  The day after that conversation, I was listening to NPR as a lady was describing some of the best places around the world worth taking the time to visit.  Brazil, ironically, was in the top pick.  Further, a fellow law student just invited me to a "Green & Yellow" party, which I went on to discover was a party for Brazil being so cool.  Interesting.   Coincidences are the charm in life, and I now CHOOSE to get carried away with relish.  More to come....

In other news, my sister has set her wedding date... August 5th... A gaggle of girls went to pick out her wedding dress over the Christmas break .... And it was so easy, I couldn't believe it.... I admire her ability to be decisive (casting economic notions on "optimality" to the wind), just picking a beautiful dress and sticking with it..... No "grass is greener" for Katey Walker. 

Alright.... I suspect I had a plan laid out in my mind for this blog...  But somehow, I feel as though if I went back and read what I just wrote, in hopes of divining that plan, it would be destructive to the purposes of the sacred BLOG. 

So, I shall leave it at that. 

~tata

Currently Listening X&Y By Coldplay Hardest Part see related

BRIEF THIS.....

facts:  panera has free internet; I happened to be "in the area"; the ginger peach tea is the most stellar conventional hot tea available at panera; it is a beautiful, sunny virginia afternoon; panera has the air conditioning on indoors

procedural history: case of first impression

rules:  to ethically savour the benefits from a restaurant's hospitality, one must purchase something; while maintaining any pretenses of dignity, one whose face is half numb is both theoretically and in truth unable to sip from a cup

application/analysis: since i am in the area, and in fact sitting in panera relishing the fireplace, i must invest in their product; further, the requisite ginger tea, though most tantalizing, must hold its place on the civ pro book, steaming in all its glory, lest the fascade of gentility be shattered.

holding: well, yes, i suppose i can hold the tea, and occasionally sniff it affectionately....

implications for future cases: don't go to panera after the dentist's office

Currently Listening Fortress By Sister Hazel Beautiful Thing see related

I think my hair has grown; I'm pretty excited about it.  I'm a big advocate of long hair, and it irks me when I have to chop mine off for maintainance purposes. 

I'm in the process of looking for a new apartment; I only have my current place for this semester.  I didn't realize how great I had it- till I started looking for a new place.  My current setup is a HUGE room, nice bathroom, and amazing closet.  Hmm.... I would hate to have to sell my furniture to fit into a smaller room.  It's some antique pieces from the 30's called "waterford" that I purchased from a Prof. at Cedarville (who was also a missionary to Nepal- AMAZING guy). 

But! Although, I have to figure out the whole "living situation" thing, I'm not too concerned about it.  I'm trusting that God will help make it clear where I should move- and when.  I have enough to worry about with finals looming.  (I'm studying Contracts at the moment.) 

Oh!  I was so excited last Sunday because I think I found a church to plant my roots into.  It's called "Deep Creek Baptist" located in Deep Creek, a quaintish village in VA.  I am relieved to finally just start building those relationships with other believers (other than law students).  I miss the Christians back in Columbus, and really liked several of the pastors in my church.  But!  I can't wait to get involved with these people and start dialogues that I know will benefit me and I really want to be an encouragement as well.  I've been feeling rather selfish lately, with this whole "law school" thing.  It's all about ME too much of the time.  (..as I type into my self-centric BLOG...)

Hmm. I wonder if I have any new pictures to share.....Let me check...Ok, this one is a picture of the ILS (International Legal Society) at school.

So long for now.....the weather is gorgeous here in VA still, but I can't wait to see the fall weather in Columbus when I go there for Thanksgiving....

~Michelle